Perhaps
by skyewardee
Summary: It's been three years. Three years since Grant Ward walked into her life, turned it upside down and left her alone to pick up the pieces.
1. Chapter 1

A/n: Hi everyone, so this is my first fanfic ever. To be quite honest, I can't even believe that I finally got myself to write one. Please leave reviews if you'd like, and thanks for reading!

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It's been three years. Three years since Grant Ward walked into her life, turned it upside down and left her alone to pick up the pieces. She knows she shouldn't feel this way. He was a traitor, and he had died a traitor. He had used them all, betrayed their trust, betrayed _her _trust. But at the end of the day, none of it really mattered because he was dead, and there was still a war to fight.

Skye can't help but think that it was such a selfish thing to do. Ward had taken the easy way out – he had started something and hadn't even bothered to see it through to the end. Hydra versus S.H.I.E.L.D., S.H.I.E.L.D. versus Hydra, it was all the same now. Countless lives lost, rivers of blood drawn from the veins of men fighting in a cause they weren't even sure of anymore. Skye had come a long way since then; no longer the doe-eyed rookie that Ward had trained. _If he were here, he probably wouldn't even recognize me, _she thought grimly. Three years is plenty enough time to change someone. Cause them to question their views of the world, force them to grow up before their time, experience love and loss and death and tragedy.

Today was the day. The day that Coulson had found Skye in her bunk on the Bus (after they'd retaken it from Hydra of course) and told her the news.

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_"Skye," he had said softly, tentatively, as if unsure of how she'd react. "Ward… He's gone. One of our recon teams found his body at an abandoned Hydra camp." He paused to gauge her reaction. Coulson, always caring, always looking out for her. "I'm sorry," he added. "I know… although he wasn't who we thought he was, there was a point when we were all family. And I understand, sometimes we just can't choose who our family is, but just because we lost him doesn't mean that what we felt wasn't real."_

_Skye had continued to type away on her laptop. An imperceptible nod of her head the only indication that she'd even heard anything Coulson had said. _

_He sighed. Coulson couldn't help but wonder if they'd ever get their Skye back. "If you need anything, just come find me, okay?"_

_"Thanks AC. I appreciate it." And for the first time since their conversation started, Skye had finally looked up at Coulson. He couldn't help but be alarmed at her appearance. Physically, she seemed fine. But her eyes… Her eyes were dead. Devoid of emotion, devoid of light, no longer __**alive.**_

_He sighed again, and slowly shut the door behind him while Skye resumed her typing._

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That was nearly two years ago, and as Skye sat at her desk at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, she couldn't help but relive the memory. It was a day, just like any other day. And yet, it wasn't. Since AC had told her the news, she hadn't shed a single tear. She refused to cry for a traitor – sure, he was a man that she'd briefly thought she might have loved, but he was still a traitor nonetheless. And to be honest, Skye was angry at herself. Why did she even care anymore? The past was the past and thinking about Ward wouldn't change the events that had already happened. Her and Ward… what had happened between them was insignificant in the larger scheme of things. The world was at war, and Skye had bigger problems to worry about than reminiscing over a dead man.

And yet, if she were even more honest with herself, she would admit that she missed him. She missed the man she thought she knew. She missed her S.O., the man she would have happily settled down with. Heck, she could even visualize it in her head. _A warm summer day, a small, modest house with a white picket fence, a little boy and a little girl, clearly a couple years apart, running around on the front lawn while their father playfully chased them with a water hose._ Skye shook her head, willing her thoughts to go away. They led to a dangerous path – those what-ifs.

A voice caught her attention. "Skye?"

"Yes Agent May?"

"We need you for a debriefing; an agent just completed his mission. Deep-cover. He requested you specifically." May gave her a funny look.

She stopped typing and looked at the senior agent, "Any reason why he asked for me specifically? I'm a bit busy here. I might have just gotten a lead on one of Hydra's next targets." Skye refocused her attention back to her monitor. "Have someone else do the debriefing. Pretty sure Trip is free right now."

"I think you might want to see this yourself."

With that, May turned on her heel and headed towards one of the interrogation rooms, leaving behind a baffled and slightly curious Skye.

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Quickly shutting off her monitor, Skye got up and followed in the direction May had gone. She was only a few feet away from catching up to her when May suddenly stopped and pulled open a door, revealing the person inside.

Skye froze. "This must be some sick joke."

Because sitting in the room was Grant Ward, back from the dead.


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Wow I wasn't expecting anything at all, but thank you to those who followed/favorited/commented! Even if it was just to say that I should continue. Haha. Don't worry folks, I actually have the whole thing written already. It's going to be ~4ish chapters.

Anyways, this chapter's a short one. Happy reading, and once again, I'd love it if you guys left me some comments or constructive feedback!

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"What the hell?!" Skye started backing up. This couldn't be true. Grant Ward was dead. He had died two years ago. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead. This couldn't be happening. She suddenly felt a gentle but firm touch on her shoulder. Coulson. She whipped around. "Phil, what the hell?! What's going on? You told me he was gone! You said they'd found his body!"

"Skye let me expl-"

They were both momentarily disrupted by the commotion behind them.

May was attempting to restrain Ward, both hands forcefully shoving him backwards, feet firmly planted in the doorway. "May, let me see her! I need to talk to her!" Ward struggled to get past her, his focus never leaving Skye. There was a hint of desperation in his voice; the pain and anguish in his eyes were reflected in her very own. As soon as they made eye contact, it was as if the fight left his body. "Skye…" he breathed.

She didn't know how to feel. This man, who had caused her so much pain in the past three years, this man who she had thought dead, who had plagued her nightmares and dreams and thoughts, this man who had used her and Phil and May and Fitzsimmons – her entire _family_ – for his own ulterior motives, this man who she still loved despite her own self-loathing, was standing right in front of her. It was if everything had come to a standstill, and all she could see were Ward's eyes silently begging her to just _listen_, to let him tell his side of the story, to give him another chance.

Coulson cut in, as calmly as he could. "Skye, let's have a seat and I'll explain everything."

Shaken out of her reverie, Skye could suddenly feel her anger building. "Oh so suddenly you want to explain everything to me?! Even though you've been lying to my face for the past two years?!" Her anger was tangible, the atmosphere thick with tension. Skye momentarily averted her eyes away from Ward and directed her full attention towards the one person she trusted with her life: the father she never had, the man who had taken her under his wing. Phil Coulson. "How could you do this to me Coulson?! After everything that's happened, how could you?!"

Phil visibly winced. "I'm sorry Skye, but it was part of the op. It was a need-to-know basis only, Fury's orders. We needed to sell the cover. I'm sorry. I don't think you know how sorry I am-"

"Damn right I don't."

"Let's all just have a seat, okay?" he sighed. "I'll start from the beginning. I know you probably have questions of your own, and it's about time you learned the truth."

Skye glared at him.

"The _whole _truth," he added. He motioned towards the door.

Skye gave a curt nod. She took a deep breath and made her way into the room, pushing past Grant and May, who were still frozen in the doorway. She didn't dare make eye contact with him again. She didn't know if she could handle the turbulent emotions swirling in his eyes. It was funny, how they had always communicated better with eye contact. It was somewhat disconcerting that after two years of not seeing each other, this still held true.

Skye wasn't afraid of what she would see in his eyes; she was more afraid of what he'd see in hers. Fear. Anger. Pain. Hope. _Love_.

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She pulled out one of the metal chairs and sat down. After contemplating for a moment, she steeled herself and finally looked up, her demeanor expectant. "You better start explaining."


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: So.. This is the chapter that I was super iffy about. Working out plot bunnies was quite challenging, so I hope everything makes sense. (I mean, it did when it was in my head, but that can be another matter...) Anyways, even if it doesn't, let's just go with the flow, yeah?

Once again, thanks for reading!

P.S. Brownie points to those who can see the Nikita references. If you squint hard enough, they're definitely there!

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Coulson glanced at Skye, then back to Ward and May, then back to Skye again. "May, why don't you take Agent Ward for a walk."

Skye briefly looked at him. Ward was about to protest again when May quickly shoved him out of the room and slammed the door shut. "You'll have your chance with her Ward. Let Coulson do his job and fill her in," she said in a voice much gentler than he thought she would ever be capable of.

Ward looked like he might crumble at any moment. "Skye deserves better. She deserves to know the truth, to get some closure and move on with her life."

The anger that had momentarily been suppressed by sympathy began to slowly make its way back to the surface. "What were you expecting Ward, that she'll welcome you back with open arms after two years? After all that you've done? Trust me, we haven't forgotten, and if you think that I'd let you hurt her again –"

"No! Not at all! Hell, I know I deserve to rot in a prison cell for the rest of my life." He began to agitatedly pace back and forth, eyes fixated on the ground. "I would have been fine with never appearing in front of her ever again, if it meant that she would be happy." Ward ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at May. "But Coulson insisted. He kept saying how Skye needed to know the truth if she were to ever – "

"I don't need your explanations Ward. If Coulson thought this was the right thing to do, then I trust his call. I don't know what happened or how you've suddenly risen from the dead, but I'm warning you. If _anything_ happens to Skye, a prison cell will be heaven compared to where I'll put you. Got that?"

Ward grimaced.

"Good. Now, I expect you'll behave yourself until Coulson steps out of that door and gives you the go-ahead." May began to make her way down the hallway. "I have to go inform Fitzsimmons before they get word from someone else and come barreling down here." With that, she rounded the corner and disappeared, leaving Ward alone with nothing more than his thoughts and the door that held his fate.

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Coulson took the seat across from her. "I know this must be difficult for you."

Skye grunted in reply.

Phil studied her face carefully, searching for any signs as to how she might be feeling, unsure of how she would react. Knowing Skye's explosive nature, he continued, albeit hesitantly. "Three years ago, Grant Ward joined our team as a double agent for Hydra. That part is true."

Skye felt a breath she didn't know she'd been holding rush out of her body. Two years later and the words _double agent_ and _Hydra_ still stung. How could she have been stupid enough to let her emotions cloud her judgment?

Coulson could see the wheels in her head turning. He continued gently, "But while he was undercover, something happened, and I think you know exactly what I'm talking about."

She refused to make eye contact. _Yeah, she knew what he was talking about, and she was still fucking pissed at herself for it._

"Grant Ward _fell in love_, Skye. With _you_." He cleared his throat, clogged with emotion. "After the whole incident with you and Deathlok on the Bus, he realized how much he wasn't willing to give up for your safety."

She remembered that incident very clearly, memories that had been endlessly haunting her dreams. _Someday, someday you'll understand. I will never, __**ever**__ give you what you want. They're real Skye, they always have been._

Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Skip the whole emotions and sappy crap, AC. You know I don't care about that. He used us, betrayed us, and there's no excuse for the things he did."

"I know Skye, I know. Trust me when I tell you that forgiving Grant Ward was the last thing on my to-do list, but hear me out okay?" Phil's expression was earnest, sincere. She sighed.

"Since you left the drive unlocked, Ward used it to look at the all the information we had on Mike Peterson's eye implant. Remember all the data and research we gathered from Amador's case? Well, long story short, he found a way to temporarily bypass it and talk to Peterson without alerting Garrett of what they were doing."

Coulson continued, "So, he made a deal with Mike. You were always good at reading people Skye, you know that Mike isn't a bad person. He was just doing everything in his power to protect his son."

Skye began to fidget with her hands. _She wished she had some sugar packets right now._ "Yeah... On the Bus, when I was being held captive, I tried to get through to him. He said something about his son being in danger if he didn't follow their orders."

"Exactly, and Ward saw that. So he offered him a deal he couldn't refuse. Mike had seen Ward before, knew what he was capable of. He offered protection. They would fake his death, and Ward would disappear off the grid with his son while he was still on the inside, feeding us information on Hydra's plans."

"And the plan wouldn't have worked if Garrett had known Ward was still alive."

"Yes. Garrett would have been suspicious. He had already known that Ward was too invested in you. If he had suddenly magically vanished, he would have sent men looking for him, putting both him and Mike's son in danger." Coulson glanced at Skye. "You still following me?"

Skye began to realize where Coulson was going. "Yeah, I get it. It's easier for a dead man to disappear."

"So they decided to take the risk. After arriving at one of Hydra's base camps, they faked an argument - not difficult to do, since Ward was still angry after that stunt Mike had pulled with you. Peterson shot Ward twice in the shoulder with an actual gun, then once in the head with a dendrotoxin round. Made it bloody enough to be believable. To Garrett, he was expendable anyway. He knew he was starting to lose control of him - it was merely a convenience for Garrett that he didn't have to get rid of Ward himself."

Skye's anger was beginning to dissipate, uncertainty taking its place. All these years she had lived off of her conviction that Ward had betrayed them, had used that anger to drive her actions, to fuel her motivation to defeat Hydra. She didn't know what to believe in anymore, couldn't help but think that without her anger, she wasn't sure what else she had left.

"Our recon team arrived shortly after. We actually thought that Ward was dead. A huge puddle of blood on the ground, and he wasn't breathing. Imagine my surprise when I came down to the morgue to confirm his body and he came back to life." Coulson chuckled. "Nearly had a heart attack 'cause of him."

He continued, "From there, Ward told me what I'm telling you now. I was hesitant at first; after all he had been lying to us the entire time. But then I consulted with Fury and he agreed that this could be our only shot at taking down Hydra from the inside."

"And this whole time, you couldn't tell anyone? Keeping secrets, AC? It's not like you." Skye's voice was strained.

"I know," he said. Coulson looked like he had aged a good few years. "And trust me, it wasn't easy keeping this from you. I had to make a call though, and keeping a tight lid on our mole was the priority. Ward's been in hiding with Mike's son for the past two years, and we've gotten solid intel from Mike for just as long. It was a pricey trade, but worth it Skye. We're closing in on Hydra. We can finally see the end of this war."

Skye understood, she really did. But she couldn't help but feel a bit bitter. "I know, AC, I know," she whispered. She looked up at him and suddenly felt exhausted. It's been a long battle. For once since she'd met Phil, Skye was at a loss. She had dedicated her whole being into fighting Hydra, and now she was unsure of what would come next. Skye had honestly thought she'd die in the line of duty before seeing an end to this whole mess.

"Now, I think there's someone you need to talk to."

For the first time since this whole ordeal started, she looked genuinely nervous.

Coulson gently grasped her small hands in his own. "You know, he's been asking about you since the day he woke up in that morgue." He soothingly rubbed small circles on her palm. "Give him a chance Skye. I've seen how much he's been trying to atone for what he's done. Ward is just someone who was forced to grow up in the wrong environment; he trusted the wrong people, made the wrong choices, but he's been living with the consequences, the guilt and regret ever since. It could have happened to anyone, even you or me."

Skye gave him a wry smile, her thoughts traveling down memory lane to when she herself had made the wrong decisions. Even after her stint with Miles, Coulson had still given her the opportunity to redeem herself. "Always the one to give people second chances, huh AC?"

He smiled knowingly. "Everyone deserves one, you know."

With that, he got up and started making his way towards the door.

"Phil, wait." Skye launched herself at him, grasping him in a tight hug. "Thank you. For everything."

Coulson gruffly returned the embrace, trying desperately to keep his tears at bay. "Anything, Skye. I'm just so sorry that I had to put you through all of this." With a slight sniffle, he pulled away and let her go. He gave her a small smile, then proceeded to pull open the door and leave the room.


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: This is it guys! The last and final chapter of my relatively short fic. At this point, I'm thinking that this is a one-time deal kind of thing. I really enjoyed this whole process, but I just don't know if I'm cut out for writing fanfiction. Maybe one day when I have another muse I'll start something else, but it's goodbye for now.

Also, I have a completely new respect for fanfic writers, so a huge shout out and thank you to those who provide us with their amazingly creative works. You guys are awesome!

Once again, thank you for reading, and I hope this met your expectations. It's most certainly more than I thought I could ever cough up (considering I'm a bio major and I actually hate writing LOL)

Oh, and reviews make me happy. :)

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She must be dreaming, this couldn't be real. Dead men didn't come back to life. No, she had already accepted that he was gone, had already done her part two years ago, had put him in her past, forced all the memories she had of him deep into the recesses of her mind. It must be an illusion, this man who was currently standing in front of her.

"Skye-"

She slapped him in the face. Hard. The resounding _smack_ did little to satisfy her anger.

And _oh_, was she angry.

"How _dare_ you?! Grant Ward, how _dare_ you do this to me, do this to _us_?!" Skye hit him. Again and again, she pummeled her fists into his chest, his shoulders, wherever she could reach. Her eyes were wild, her long hair framing her face, expression contorted by a mixture of conflicting emotions. Skye didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. She didn't know what to believe anymore, so much of their relationship had been built on lies - hell, even the _end_ had been a lie. Her mind and her heart were at war, telling her two different things.

_He cares for you, he always did. Why don't you just let yourself love him? _

_He used you. You're weak, disgusting, letting yourself have feelings for someone like that._

And the thing that tore her apart was how Grant merely stood there, how he took all of her blows as if he deserved each and every single one, how he looked at her with those sad, sad eyes – eyes that had seen more than enough pain and death and destruction to last a lifetime.

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They didn't live in a black and white world; everything they did was shrouded in shades of grey. She had known this all along, that actions had consequences, no matter which side you were on. No, Skye was no angel. She had taken her fair share of lives. She still remembers the first time she pulled the trigger on someone, had watched the life seep out of their body and onto the linoleum floor while she stood there frozen in place, horrified by what she had done by her own hand, until May had found her and dragged her away. It had been three months after Ward's betrayal, and it had taken many more to banish the image from her dreams, to lessen the guilt she had felt over taking away a son, a father, a husband. Somewhere out there, someone was waiting for their loved one to come home, and _she_ had taken that from them. What made her actions any more forgivable than what Ward had done?

Skye came to a startling conclusion.

Two years ago, she never would have been able to understand Grant Ward – would never have been able to understand the guilt he lived with on a daily basis. It had seemed that he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and now, Skye understood, because every day, she lived with her own demons as well. His betrayal still stung. His past actions still despicable, but she _understood_. And maybe that was the first step towards forgiveness.

Fate had dealt them an ugly hand, and they had paid the consequences. Grant Ward. Skye. Together they made one hell of a pair, two broken people, two broken pieces of a puzzle. But then again, maybe that's why they were such a perfect match. Maybe somehow, they could heal each other.

"Skye, I'm so sorry. So so sorry," Ward gasped. He held on to her shoulders as if she were his life line.

She couldn't help but flashback to the last time they had spoken to each other, in what felt like a different lifetime. It was déjà vu, the way she was hitting him, the way he was holding her at arm's length, and yet, it was completely different. Different context, different emotions, two different people, changed by the time that had passed and the experiences they had undergone while apart from each other. And this time, instead of pushing him away, Skye pulled him closer.

Drained by her explosive outburst, Skye practically collapsed into him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, buried her face in his chest and inhaled, the soft fabric of his shirt and the scent that was distinctly _him_ having a soothing effect. Typical. He _would_ be wearing a black shirt.

With every breath she took, it was if she could feel the anger seeping out of her body.

Ward returned her embrace, arms looping around her smaller frame. He couldn't help but grip her tightly, press his nose into her hair. _God, how he had missed her._ "Skye, let me explain."

"Shhhhhh, I've done enough listening for today." She closed her eyes and pressed her ear to his chest, the solid _thump thump thump _of his heart acting as a reassurance that he really was there with her.

Reluctantly, Skye pulled away from his warm embrace and looked at him. _Truly_, looked at him. She lightly traced the contours of his face with her fingers. He was older, the lines more etched into his features, no doubt from the stress that had taken its toll over the last couple years. His eyes slid shut, and she could feel him lean into her touch, their faces mere inches apart. Her eyes flickered down to his lips.

"Ward."

He was too lost in the feel of her skin on his. This. This is what he had been missing, had been longing for every single day. Skye was his redemption. She was his hope, the only reason why he had fought so hard to live. So many times he had considered how it would feel to give in, to accidentally step in the line of fire, to take one too many steps over a ledge. It was so easy to die, but Skye had taught him the value in a life, how precious it was. Since the day she had revived him on the plane, he'd been making it a habit to load his gun with ICER rounds. He hadn't taken a single life since, figured he had enough red in his ledger.

Funny, how when Grant regained some of his humanity, Skye lost some of hers.

"_Grant_." His eyes flew open, and their eyes met. She briefly wondered how she had even survived this long without seeing him, without seeing his eyes – those piercing brown eyes that seemed to love her more and more with each passing second. Skye could feel her resolve beginning to crumble. All this time she had spent and wasted on hating him, she'd been blinded by her anger, too prideful to admit that she had played the game of love and lost. But the thing is, they had _both_ lost.

She didn't even know where to start. A whispered apology.

"No, oh God. No, _I'm_ the one who's sorry. I was the one that got us into this whole mess, if only I had confessed earlier, if only I hadn't given my loyalty to Garrett then things could have happened so differently – " Grant's voice was desperate.

Skye cut him off with a kiss and his brain ceased to function. So this is it. How it feels to die and come back to life again. At that exact moment, Ward swore to himself that he would never let this woman go, would never let her come into harm's way, no matter what the cost.

She pulled away and resumed her previous position, burying her nose into his collar, allowing his arms to encircle her. She had never felt so safe and secure.

Unable to hold back the sob that ripped its way out of her chest, Skye let herself feel for the first time in two years. She let herself cry, release all the pent up emotions she had held in for so long. She had never allowed herself to grieve properly, and now, she cried. Skye cried over the death of Grant Ward, over how much it had _hurt_ when she had learned of his betrayal. She cried for all the time they had lost, all the missed opportunities. She cried in relief, because she could finally see a future again.

And while Skye sobbed in his arms, Grant Ward – the man who had once been the T-1000, the super robot with zero emotions, the trained killer who didn't know how to feel – felt his heart splitting in two. He took deep, shuddering breaths and held on to her even more tightly than before, refusing to let her out of his grasp. He struggled to control the tears that leaked out of his eyes, and so he simply held her and pressed his lips to her hair, whispering sweet nothings that only hinted at the depth of what he felt for her.

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They wouldn't say the words. At least, not yet. The wounds were too fresh, not quite healed. Those were words meant to be saved for a different conversation, another time.

Skye and Grant still had a lot to work out. In the two years since they'd seen each other, they had both changed as people, had grown and matured in different ways. Skye was no longer that innocent rookie; she had been hardened by time and experience, but was stronger because of it. Ward was no longer that boy who blindly followed orders; he had learned that somewhere along the way, he did have a moral compass - a compass that Skye had gifted him. She was his True North. No matter how lost he was, she would always show him the way home.

For now, they had each other, and that was enough. They were two damaged people, molded and shaped by the way life had treated them. It hadn't been easy, getting to where they are now, and they both knew that they still had a long way to go before things could even come close to being okay. Forgiveness and rebuilding trust were the first two steps, and those things would take some time.

But maybe one day in the far-off future, they would be able to finally express in words what they had already felt for so long.

Maybe it would be on a warm summer evening.

Perhaps there'd even be a small house with a white picket fence.

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**_Fin._**


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